Trying to get work done, but it’s hard because I’m roasting and my computer is slow as hell. Plus I don’t want to do work I just want to think about kinky stuff because I had a pretty kinky dream and it’s way on my mind and also yes please I want that sort of thing. Soooo yeah. Today is pride. We didn’t go to the parade this year but we’re going to a party a little later. I’m planning on remaining relatively sober and being DD. I don’t want to be trapped there forever if I decide to leave. Also the last two parties I went to didn’t go that awesome and it makes me want to stay in my ~more or less~ right mind. I’d rather drink when I get home and it’s safe kthanx. I should probably get back to work. I kinda want to streak my hair but it’ll take forever so IDK.
**forever alone update** JK JK no party after all. I’m actually slightly disappointed… but only slightly. Ima stay home and get drunk with my girl instead. *cracks open a java stout*
I’m exhausted. Bone-worn tired. I should be doing work but my brain is just not up for it. Epicly hungover this morning. Worst hangover I’ve had in over a year. ugh. Kinda relating to all those people who hate tequila. Anyways, last night was pretty amazing. We have not had the chance to be alone together in a long time. Many nights spent pining. She wanted to hurt me. Such activities release something in her, and help her survive in normal style life. I am well honored to be this conduit, to be used for such a purpose. It suits me very well. She cuffed my hands behind my back before I knew what was happening. Real cuffs. Police cuffs. And then she fucked me hard from behind. Her nails biting into me as I lay there helplessly. I came within moments. Holding it off just long enough to beg permission. She freed my hands and was on me again before I had the chance to recover. Teeth in my neck while she thrust inside of me again and again. After a while she told me to ride on top, controlling the motion of my hips with her strong hands and sharp nails. When she had finished she took up her belt and turned me over. The first two strikes I barely felt, but the third suddenly burned like fire. I felt so weak, not up to the high standards of pain tolerance I hold myself to. Within a dozen or so strikes I had tears in my eyes. I started to squirm and she could tell I was done. “I’m sorry.” I said, crying a few silent tears. “For what?” she asked. “That I can’t handle as much as you want.” “I could force you to handle it.” she said, running the belt over my legs. I bowed by head because I could not meet her eyes, preparing myself to endure. But she did not take me further. Not this night. Instead she threw me back down on the bed and held the belt taut against my neck as she fucked me again. Tears still lingering in my eyes. Too much, too good. I came again, my arms and legs wrapped tightly around her. At this point I was done in. Laying in her arms too weak to move. “I’m going to fuck you again.” she said. I indicated my consent, but told her I didn’t think I could possibly cum again. She started fucking me. “You will if I tell you to. You’ll cum every time I put my cock inside of you.” And of course, she was right. “cum for me. now.” she said, half growling, one hand twisted in my hair. Though I thought I could not, my body obeyed it’s master. Not once, but twice. After that she laid back, satisfied, and allowed me to please her. Afterwards we slept. I lay naked and vulnerable against her, feeling lucky and safe and thoroughly owned. How I’ve missed this sort of thing.
I’m in the airport. I sorta hate travel days, and the actual act of traveling. I want it to be over already, please and thank you. My brother is safely in Vegas. I worry about him when he travels alone, but I know he’s a grown ass man and there is nothing I can do really. I’m trying to knock out one more article before we get on this plane, so I can be free from having to write any articles tomorrow. I hope they have me down for 6 articles per month and not 15 still because they said they were going to start cutting people’s contracts if they don’t make the article quota they agreed to at the beginning of the project. I said 6 at that point, but then I upped it to 15 for a couple months. But I didn’t say forever, you know? I dunno. It’s awesome to work for a company that finds you totally dispensable and replaceable. Anyway, whatever. I’m just going to do my best ay. I better get back to work if I hope to get this done before I have to go be on an airplane.
I haven’t blogged in a long time. I’m just going to pretend this is my xanga and not worry about it beyond that. I wanted to make entries and entries over the course of this trip but it keeps not happening. I’ve had to do work and it gets in the way of this type of writing. Also I hadn’t gotten my wordpress set up until now. I just bought myself a netbook for $200. (technically my girlfriend bought it for me) it’s small, and also it’s pretty much exactly what I need. It retails for $380, so I feel like I got a pretty sweet deal. Also, free shipping… but it’s coming from China so it might take forever. This is our last night in Martha’s Vineyard. Last night with these people, my humans. My brother already left. We finally have a room to ourselves after almost a week sleeping on opposite sides of the room. I’ve been feeling all manner of things recently. My significant other has recently informed me of a set of desires that coincide with my own. I have been feeling more bright hot squirming inside my body than I have in ages. A near paralyzing readiness for true submission, and pain. It is beautiful. We were In the car with my parents and my aunt, they were talking and distracted. “I’m going to choke you with my belt while my cock is inside of you.” whispered into my ear. I shiver and quake and come alive. I am eager to be home. We have so much to do. I expect I’ll write more about this experience later, I need to talk about Cafe Pamplona and lots of other things. Meanwhile, I ache for the true privacy of our home. It’s going to be a very long day of traveling tomorrow, and a very long day of accomplishing errands on Friday.