I wrote this blog on Saturday December 27, 2008 and I just found it while looking through my xanga archive. I still think it is true and funny and possibly maybe helpful (?)
I have had more than my share in my short lifetime, so I believe that this is something I am qualified to write about. *insert infomercial music and cheesy host voice here*This will serve as a step by step guide as to what to expect, and what to do when YOU have an identity crisis. *insert big white sparkely smile*
1. Doubt. This is the onset, at this point you won’t know exactly what is happening, but you will feel like asking everyone around you “Who am I? What am I doing? Where am I going? What is the meaning of it aaaaaalllll??! ” This can last anywhere from a couple days to a number of months. If you can, try to avoid asking other people all of your profound self doubt questions… because no one will have anything useful to tell you, and you just have to wait until you make it to the next step.
3. Head Rush. At this point you will feel a sense of relief because you found a reason why you were feeling so weird and off back there at stage 1. Ooooh! That must be why I was suddenly doubting every aspect of my life! I get it now! You will feel happy, elated and you might want to go and tell all the people that you whined to in stage 1 (even though I told you not to) but please, for your sake, DO NOT DO THIS. Though you may feel suddenly complete, you are NOT through with your identity crisis, and you will most definitely regret telling anyone that you think you are a gay masochistic vampire who made bad career choices. Personally, I regretted it about 30 seconds after the words left my mouth… because I had entered stage 4.
6. Well… it could be worse. (Acceptance). You have taken a lot of time, you have considered deeply, and the panic has resided. It is better to be what you are, even if it isn’t exactly what you always thought you were, or what your mommy wanted you to be than to pretend to be something you are not. You will still be scared, you will still feel nervous, but a bit of the excitement you thought you had left in stage 3 comes creeping back too. You see new possibilities, things that could make you happier than you imagined. You are ready for
7. Changes. Now you are ready to tell the people that you care about. Start with someone you know will be accepting, and with their support it will be easier to move on to people in your life who might be more difficult. Now you can start making plans, you can start rearranging the pieces of your life that don’t fit, that never fit. It is far from easy, but it can be done, and you will be better off afterward. Here is where you will realize just how right about yourself you were. Random incidents from the past that you didn’t understand your reaction to, or little aspects of your personality that didn’t seem to fit will suddenly fall into place. You will have tons and tons of “Oh! that makes sense now!” moments. I am still having these. They feel awesome.
*fast talking fine print reading guy* Everyone is different and no results are typical. Some of these stages may lead some of you to tangent stages not mentioned in this program. However, this is the correct order of events, and I would know! I mean hey! What’s life without a few identity crisi? It makes things more interesting, it makes YOU more interesting, and who are we kidding… it’s FUN!
Posted 12/27/2008 at 5:56 PM