Playlist 6: Ships and Sleep and Sails and Sheep

Just throwing this up before I try to throw myself into sleepingville. (??) This week has been fine overall. No major monstrosities *knocks on wood* So I can’t really complain.

Here are my top song pics and a tiny observation or comment about each of them.

Not sure what next week is going to be like work-wise or life-wise or … anything wise really. Sooo we will see! I’m hoping for a nice, fun weekend starting after I finish my work tomorrow. I wish you guys the same.

1. Taking Back Sunday – Number five with a bullet (^_\\) 

2. Sufjan Stevens – The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts (Nice instrumentals, nice harmonies)

3. Muse – Knights of Cydonia (Not a huge Muse fan but like this one for some reason)

4. Arctic Monkies – When the Sun Goes Down (I’m becoming a fan apparently)

5. The Dresden Dolls – My Alcoholic Friends (An old fave, 10/10 highly recommend)

6. Regina Spektor – That Time (Not a very good video but best I could find)

7. The Used – Pretty Handsome Awkward (You’re welcome 16 year old me)

8. The Lumineers – Big Parade (kinda cutesy and folksy but nice overall)

9. My Brightest Diamond – Golden Star (Sorta chill, sorta epic sounding)

Better living through kinkistry

‘sup guyyys? Guess what I should be doing right now? Not this… that’s what. I’ve just been wasting time all day long. I went to the gym which was nice, and I spent a tonnn of time painting my nails and also looking through tons of sex toys on the internet and discussing desired equipment which was funnn. Man. This week has been weird for me mentally. Suuuper hard to concentrate on my stuff. Hey, do you ever randomly find yourself missing someone from your past for a split second … but then you immediately remember that they did really shitty stuff to you that mentally fucked you up and stunted your sex life for more than a year? Ha yeah….. me neither…..

Honestly tho, since I’ve gotten back into bdsm style activities my life has felt sooo much better overall. It’s really weird how much it means to me, what an awesome positive impact {pun slightly intended} it has on my life. I feel more grounded and capable and confident and just … more like myself. Speaking of which it looks like tomorrow night is going to be quite challenging and intense and I’m slightly afraid I’ll fail miserably… but I still want to try to rise to the challenge. … or maybe devolve into a little rebel and get put in my place. Either way I’m looking forward to it. Unfortunately… I have 7 articles standing between me and such activities.


Hocus Focus

man, I’m totally losing it over here. I can’t even think or focus at all and gaaaaaaah, he keeps touching me and giving me certain looks and it sends me dowwwn so fast, to a place I really want to go and just … stay. there. But I caaaaan’t because I have work to do, and responsibilities, and stuff and it’s wicked hard to be productive when you can’t stop thinking about getting tied up and … -clears throat- Tomorrow I’m going to have quite a lot of work actually… but I suppose that’s alright. Maybe it will keep me sort of distracted? Seriously what’s my deal? Why am I so keyed up this week? KeYeD UuUuUuUuUuUp SON! >>>___<<< I need to clear my damn head and write ONE LAST ARTICLE for tonight so I can possibly go to sleep at a semi-decent time and not wake up at 2 in the afternoon. Or I could stay up forever reading and still wake up wicked late… that’s also cool. I wish I had money to get some new clothes because my wardrobe is currently prettyyyy pathetic. Also I need to actually make an effort to try and fix my shoes cuz I’m basically shoe-less. -endless shrug- I mean it’s hard to care about it TOO much when I want to be home wearing next to nothing most of the time. Alright guyyys… I’m gunna peace out now and try to get something done.


So today has been really weird. I came to my parents house at around 5 because we are celebrating father’s day a week late apparently since my mom was feeling all Sick last Sun. My bro and I were also planning on doing some recording. Soooo um yeah it wasn’t bad. We hung out and went to dinner and then took the dogs for a walk in the Bosque and they chased a skunk and almost got fucking spayed which would have really really sucked. But we grabbed them in time. Then we hung out and watched a shitty old episode of twilight zone and my parents went to bed. Then my bro and I started recording. We were re-doing a vocal track of mine cuz the original sucked. It took over an hour but I’m pretty sure I nailed it this time. Soooo that’s good. My boyfriend stayed home and I was concerned about him cuz he was nooooot feeling good today. Now I’m going to spend the night alone in my childhood bed with a new shitty hard mattress. There is a dog sleeping underneath and sorta snoring. It’s hard for me to sleep here but I’m going to try.

Writing Playlist 5: Oral Fixation Edition

None of these songs actually have anything to do with oral fixation, I just have one and it’s been hella distracting me the past couple days, especially today. Somebody get this girl some gum, or a blow pop, or something. Seriously. But I digress… These are my top song pics for the week, hope someone out there enjoys them. I’m annoyed I can’t find a non-live version of the last song, but oh well.

I wish you all, and myself, a good weekend.

1. Regina Spektor – Blue Lips

2. Katzenjammer – Mother Superior

3. Florence + The Machine – Seven Devils

4. Ida Maria – Oh My God

5. Tegan and Sara – Walking with a Ghost

6. Neutral Milk Hotel – Naomi

7. Arctic Monkies – I bet you look good on the dance floor

8. STRFKR – Rawnald Gregory Erickson the second

9. Taking Back Sunday – A Decade Under the Influence (I can only find a shitty live version. This song is locked DOWN on youtube.)


I dreamed a dream in time gone by

Do I ever write one of these entries when I’m NOT supposed to be working? I don’t think so. That’s really the only time I feel like doing it, when I’m not supposed to. Fuck I’m tired. I slept in reeeallllly late today but I’m still tired. I was dreaming about a weird math class where we were drinking wine and I had no idea what was going on, kinky detention and weird punishments??? I don’t even really remember. I’ve been out of school for 3 years. How long do you think it will be before I stop having dreams where I suddenly remember that I have a class I haven’t been to in like a month and I’m totally failing and I have no idea what’s going on? I dream about the same school sometimes, not a real place. never been there outside of the dreaming, but I’m always lost and looking for a class there. Anyway, the whole thing was weird and slightly kinky for some reason? and I kept calling people sir I feel like. >>>___<<< 

After I slept in super late I got up and went to the gym pretty much immediately, even though I had hella articles due within a few hours. Still, I try not to let my physical body suffer because of my brain-centric work so I went, and I’m glad I did because my body and mind both feel better for it. However, I came home and started working immediately to make my deadline and I still haven’t taken a shower which I really need to do and I will do as soon as I finish ooonnne more article. 

Welp! That’s about enough info about my personal biz. 

‘Apnoea’ is a temporary suspension of breathing during sleep!

I spent the majority of the day alone, not really doing anything. Staring at the internet and watching random youtube videos and AFP / NG interviews and songs and maybe crying slightly, for reasons. I should have been working all day but I didn’t do shit. Then I took a nap from 9pm-ish until 10pm-ish which wasn’t exactly good for my mental health or anything… but… -le shrug- Now I mostly just want to lay against my boyfriend and watch movies and get hugs and kisses and maybe hair pulls and light choking… But alas, I have articles due and I don’t want my stupid editor to give me shit again, even though he didn’t edit my stuff last week until like 3 days after I turned them in so I don’t see why he cares so hard. Soooooo… nocturnal writing time here I come.