For this week’s playlist I went back through the playlists from the last few weeks, and found other songs by bands that I liked at least one song from. Twenty One Pilots has been on… a lot of them, but they have a lot of songs that I like, so they are on this one as well. No idea what tonight or the rest of my weekend is going to be like, but hopefully it will be nice, and chill, and not bad. Peace out you guys. I hope you all have good days and nights, and also that I do too.
I’m on hold with income support division, right now on this phone which I’m also using to write this. Bam. I’m so annoyed with beaurocracy and people sucking and just whatever. I’m in a shit mood today for some reason. kinda just want to sit quietly with my own thoughts for a few hours. Or maybe not, cuz most my thoughts currently seem to suck. So maybe I will just read instead. Tired of bleeding. Tired of fear thoughts. This weird taste in my mouth I need to brush out. Need to cut my too long, stab under each other fingernails. Bla bla bla I’m the opposite of a peach, never bruise. I slept so much but I still want to sleep more. Zzzzzs forever, snore snore snore
I don’t know why my soul feels like it’s jumping and jiving around so damn much. I feel wicked restless and unsettled and somewhat unscrewed. I like when other people step up to bat for me and take care of things I’m having trouble with. My phone has been glitching out for a couple weeks. Every time I go to use it after it has gone unused for an hour or so, the screen acts all weird. First it goes all pale, then it gets weird vertical stripes, then it superimposes images on top of each other as I scroll. After like 10-20 minutes it acts normal, until I leave it alone for another hour or so. It’s been super annoying and it is still in warranty. Still, I have not been able to get Verizon to replace it for me. So today I went over to my parents’ house and my dad called them for me. The first guy we talked to was a huge douche and he kept saying this was a problem he had never heard of before, so it must be because of damaged I caused. I was like… bullshit. My phone is in pristine condition. But the guy was a dick so he just refused to do it. Anyway, after lots more calling people my dad eventually found someone who would do it, which is awesome. We spent a ton of time at my parents’ house today, doing laundry and dealing with that and I did work almost the whole time I was there. I still have about 35 items to curate. It’s due at 12pm tomorrow, but I hate waking up early so I’m going to finish them tonight. Things and toys are arriving in the mail, and I’m excited to give them a go this weekend, hopefully. Okay, I need to go finish my work now bye.
I just got some more freelance curation work. When the work comes in and I know what I’m doing I fucking love being a freelance writer / other random work-er person. It’s really just the best. The most gratifying and least stressful work I have ever done. But when the work isn’t coming in… it’s wicked stressful and awful and makes me doubt all my life choices. BUT! Right now the work has come in and it’s good money and I feel pretty good and un-stressed. I still have calls to make that I keep avoiding, but whatever. We just ordered a pizza because neither of us wanted to go to the store and also pizza sounded super good to me. (Authentic New York style pizza, from an awesome local place.) Sooo hopefully that will be here soon. My curation work is due on Thursday, and after I finish it I will have half a month’s rent saved. (I don’t actually have to pay the rent again until November, but I need to make SURE SURE SURE SURE SURE I can get it done in time. Cool. Yes.
We are leaving in 15 minutes to go see a play, which is fun and cool because I love live theatre and it is my favorite and it’s awesome and even when it isn’t that good it’s usually still pretty awesome. SOoooooo No time to write anything else here really. I’m hoping for a fun night out and a fun night in afterward. Last night was pretty great and I’m hoping the trend continues. I hope you guys have a great weekend as well.
I have loved sleeping lately. I’ve been having vivid dreams. We went to see guardians of the galaxy this evening. It was pretty good and fun overall. Going to a movie is a fairly big luxury for us, but it’s fun when we can. We have a play to go to on Friday which will hopefully be cool. Love live theater forever. Ummm yeah I’m gunna try to sleep now I guess.
Friday friday fridaaaayyyyyy. My boyfriend got his student loan / grant money in earlier than he anticipated, which is awesome because it means we can have a fun filled weekend before he has to start school again. It also means he just came home with lots of stuff for me including flowers and chocolate and wine. The title of this entry is what he said to me when I told him it was sweet. Shit has been pretty bad and off this week, so I am definitely hoping for a good weekend. I still have some work to do before I can go shopping and have fun and stuff. Here are my song pics for the week, random things that played on pandora while I was working or at the gym.
Woah I’m a person all right. All soft and hard and weak and weird. Mildly tormented by my knowledge of mortality. I’m so tired and crazy awake brain thoughts moderately stressed about work it’s weird and I’m not super duper confident. Yoooo sleeping pill do your thing take me somewhere nice please.
Freelance work is BACK ON. For the moment at least. It’s not writing, it’s something completely different and hard to explain but the work is not TOO TOO TOOOOOO hard I don’t think. I have only done a little bit of it so far. I’m hoping I will get faster and more confident as I go along. Ummmmmmm yeah. Everything is weird, but I’m okay I think. I’m pretty sure. I’m sort of sure. I’m moderately confident. Wicked tired from not sleeping well and having trouble falling asleep and waking up really early to fill out work related forms, and being unable to fall asleep after that. Now I’m about to go to the gym and probably have a mentally exhausting conversation about carbs with my brother because of ReAsOnS. Yyyyyyyeeeeah. >__< Z__Z (sleeping Z eyes) Maybe I will nap when I get back home. Maybe lots of things will happen and they will be cool? I don’t fucking know.
Hella stressed about my life and hoping for stuff to work out and just feeling wicked bad about junk in general like woah Damn that’s some unfortunate feels you have going on there. Why yes, yes they are thank you for noticing. Working myself all up over shit I should let go go go go go go go just go please just go let go. Um yeah so cool whatever. Maybe tomorrow it will be better. Or maybe it will be worse because I have to actually think about stuff and make stuff happen tomorrow and right now I’m cradled in the sweet nothingness nowhere time of the late late night kneeling at the feet of the early early morning. Please just hold me here. Please keep me and all those I love here, safe. Life is too harsh for my yielding bones.