Bad

Things are not good for me inside my head and just not good right now. I feel so fucking overwhelmed. This is much much much much much much much much much more time consuming than I ever could have anticipated. I missed my deadline for the first time …. ever, and I feel like the biggest piece of human garbage that ever existed in the universe. I also feel super bad because I’m making my boyfriend help me all this time and basically I’ve completely ruined his weekend because he’s spent the whole damn thing doing this work with me. I mean, the money is for both of us, but still. I just feel so fucking bad and stressed and I never even got a response from my client after I told her I wouldn’t be able to make the deadline. I apologized profusely in my email and I just… this is the fucking worst. I’m so fucking sorry it’s my fault I didn’t know what I was getting into. I feel sick and overwhelmed as hell. I’m so fucking slow at this it’s unbelievable. How is this even physically possible? How can I ever even finish this by Tuesday at 7pm? Like seriously I don’t even know if that will be enough time. But I fucking HAVE to finish it by then. I don’t have a choice. None. No choice at all not at all not at all. Fuck. This has just been such a terrible few days I don’t know how to deal with it I don’t know what I’m doing.

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