Oh snap, it seems like my snake dreams might actually really come to fruition, like… very soon. I’m really excited about it. Seriously very excited and a tiny bit nervous and I got the tank today but I need to set it all up and get a bunch of other stuff too.
My collar bones tell me they should be bruised. Screaming it when touched, whispering as I move and breathe too deep. But I bruise like a stone (basically not at all) and instead must feel and carry it as a secret. Which is okay.
Sleep little me. Small sleeping self. Should have brought your book upstairs. Should have spoke your mind somewhat more clearly. Simple stilted dreams, jealously repeating yourselves, stealing space and time from a sleeping mind. show me something shiny new. Show me sails and starlight brew.
Songs for life and flight and rush. Proud of my calculating lord for his none too paltry accomplishments. it is not Friday, but the start of a break nonetheless, so this is apt and fitting. I feel like myself I believe, and it is nice. Here are some songs to bid us all well.
1. Muse – supermassive black hole
2. Beck – timebomb
3. Yeasayer – O.N.E
4. Walk the moon – quesadilla
Dude. Duuuude, why can’t I sleep? I even took a benadryl, I should be sawing mad logs, dreaming hella dreams. But alas, a lass, all ass. Wakeful eyes all open in the dark. Man, dude, I want a snake. I mean, I’ve wanted one since I was like 10, but now I’m suddenly kinda all about it. I know I’m too poor right now to make it happen, but I like to think about it and do research and stuff. Originally I was pretty set on a corn snake, but after doing more research I decided a ball python would be better for me. They have higher humidity requirements, but they’re a lot more chill and docile, which is really what I’m looking for. Also they are cute af. maybe for my birthday in like 2.5 months. Idk. Just wishful thinking, but It’s not outside the realm of possibilities. Anyway, got my sleeping rags on, cuz I like to sleep dressed like a 12th century peasant. Not really, but all my non rag sleeping shirts are dirty. Also most my underwear. I need to do laundry.
Well, yesterday’s plan to make my arms sore today was a smashing success. But I really need to find my headphone piece. Those are one of the sacred objects of my modern life. I feel like myself, I think. Breaking through months of booze soaked stagnation. I don’t know what I want to be in this life, but I do know what I don’t want to be. I’m holding myself tight inside my chest, fanning and feeding the flames of my me-ness so they do not gutter. I need to start a new paper journal I think. It’s been long since I’ve had one. I meant to look for something spiraled, flimsy, cheap, and low pressure when I was at the store, but I forgot. I need to get up now. Drink water, eat something. My body says protein would be welcomed.
You ever start re reading one of your fave books after not reading it for a few years, and you’re just like yes, oh my god, this feels so good on my soul. This is exactly what my soul needed right now. And you can feel parts of yourself re-hydrating and waking up and coming back to life. It’s super nostalgic because you remember where you were in your life the first time you read it, but at the same time it’s an entirely new experience. it’s beautiful and powerful and yeah. Fucking books man. I just finished a mighty powerful re read a couple days ago and now I’m starting on another. It feels like it’s good for me, but it might just be another type of escapism. Eh, whatever. Reading is awesome and idgaf.