I’m having a quiet, gentle, huge mental breakdown. I feel truly awful. I just want to sleep. I’ve been neglecting and abusing my physical body in lots of ways. My hair is a giant dirty tangle and I just feel incredibly overwhelmed by the weight of my being. I don’t even know how to approach it. The personal tragedy of someone I’ve known since middle school has left me feeling bowled over, and I can’t even imagine how he must be feeling. He lost his dad and grandma within three days. Just… fuck. We aren’t even that close any more but we were best friends for a time. I don’t even know what to say to him. there’s no words. life is so cruel and frightening. I just messaged him anyway, because I had to say something. It puts things in perspective for me, in a way. I’m going to my parents’ house tomorrow to get my dad’s help with something I’ve been dreading / putting off for six months. I feel guilty and scared, but fortunate. Unbelievably fucking fortunate. Anyway, now that I’ve sat here crying for like an hour I’m guna go take a shower for the first time in ?? Days. Yeah. That’s good. Yeah.