Why can’t I stop thinking about all the times I let people down or fucked shit up? Idk. Idk. I have such a streak of fatalism lately, I don’t know how to deal with it. It’s got me twisted for sure. An unexpected windfall kinda saved my ass. Thanks money cat thing I reblogged lol. But idk. I still feel fucked up. Time is passing scary quick. Like how was it a whole fucking year ago I first saw that show? It feels like a month or two. The way memories shape perception scares me and I can’t think about it for too long. I should try to sleep I’ve been going way too nocturnal it’s not good. I spent like half an hour this morning (see:afternoon) reading an article about an 85 year old French dominatrix and it was really interesting and made me feel some type of way. Idk what my point is but yeah. Whatever. I can’t deal with stuff right now. I’m so sick of this repetitive work I’ve been doing. I’m gonna hold my snake for a minute I think, and then try and freaking sleep… And maybe my brain will be cool and let me and not torture me.