3am things

Haha man, what even am I? I have no idea. Clinically depressed almost certainly… But not in the mood to get put on pills about it. Weak and wanton. I had a bunch of dreams about being in grad school and weird things were happening and there was a giant bear???  Or something?? And it was kinky sort of somehow. Not the bear… The bear wasn’t kinky. The general undertone of the dream was, but I can’t remember exactly how… Only that I woke with that unmistakable feeling. Anyway, I don’t even know if grad school is really what I want out of life at all… But it’s something, you know? I’m not thrilled af about it, but I think it could be good for me, and I do really hope I get accepted. I got an official “your application was received and is under review” letter in the mail today. So that’s cool. I scored a pair of tickets to see one of my all time life heroes in March. I’m very psyched about that. It sold out in like 30 minutes, it’s amazing I got tickets. I’m going with my little brother, he was super psyched as well. I don’t feel like saying any more about it right now. Why can’t I fucking muster up the will power to do the rowing machine every day? Like it lives right there in my fucking house, there’s no excuse. You know what I’m really passionate about? Snakes. Fucking snakes. Ball pythons in particular but all snakes in general. My fantasy future is to run a top of the line breeding facility with the highest possible quality of care for the animals. And to have part of my facility be a non-profit reptile rescue where I take in reptiles in need and get them the medical care they need and find them good homes. Oh, and in this fantasy I also do community outreach programs that help people learn about reptiles and I do little seminars about proper care and housing. Also, all of the snakes’ shed skin would be used to make cool jewelry and trinkets and stuff that I would sell to support the rescue. As you can tell I’ve thought about it a lot. Lmao. But it’s hyper unrealistic for a ton of different reasons. But I like thinking about it, and I love snakes. I don’t know why, I just do. I love them. I’m gonna go watch some egg cutting videos on YouTube and then go to sleep.

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