I know a thing about contrition

I got a micro-batch of work. It’s another project, another client. I’m suddenly getting hella  new clients all over the place and it’s cool but sorta weird. Hopefully some of them will actually have some steady work soon, that would be rad. Anyway, this is a short project that’s only expected to last a couple of days… which is okay. I’ll do as much as I possibly can during those two days. I’m writing tiny short product descriptions for just a couple bucks a pop, but it only takes me a few minutes to do each one so it’s not too bad overall. It’s boring but it’s not too bad. I didn’t sleep very much last night so I feel all weird and off but it’s okay. Might go on a walk soon just to stretch my legs and get my mind back in order. tomorrow I wanna hit the gym again, and basically work all day constantly before and after.

Oh hey, now it’s 2am and I am helllla tired, and tired of writing things. I’ve done 34 of these description things as of now, and I’d really like to make it 50 before I go to bed, but we’ll see if that ends up happening. I’m not a huge fan of having to grab them from a big pool queue thing where all the writers get them. It makes me feel like I’m competing with all of them to get them done as fast as possible. I prefer to just say “I’ll do X number” and get that many and not have to compete. But whatever. Freelancers can’t be freechoosers… or something.

I feel like my family is still kinda dancing around me since my grad school dreams died. Like they don’t know how to talk about it or how sensitive I am about it, but it’s okay. Like today I took one of my frequent nighttime walks with my brother and I said I wanted to go through the school this time and I could tell his face was like “are you sure?” and my face was like “yeah it’s cool no problem” And we did, and I secretly did feel slightly sad and weird the whole time but it was still nice. We walked under some really nice smelling trees that smelled like artificial grape flavoring … in a good way.

Today was 4/20 … blaze it! Except not me because weed makes me feel pretty bad. Mostly it makes me get **wicked introspective** which is like… literally the exact opposite of what I want when I ingest things. I want my brain to shut the fuck up, not GET LOUDER AND MEANER. Plus I get hardcore munchies which is horrible and also bad. But hey, to each their own self be true.

I need to keep working and I want to buy some bananas so I can give them tattoos. Tomorrow is probably going to suck a lot, I want it to be Friday. Oh well. I know I shouldn’t wish time away. I should just buckle down and concentrate. Bye.



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