key

My arms are feeling pretty sore today after a long day of wood chopping and sawing and rope pulling yesterday. My hands are feeling tender as well. I did some rowing today which didn’t exactly help but it felt good. I’m sorta vaguely slowly writing a trial thing for an assignment writing “listicles” … fucking gross right? Like clickbait gross bullshit. But … bullshit for money. Sooooo we’ll see what happens with that. -shrugs- I’m really tired, and feeling all kinds of different stuff and it’s a lot and it’s confusing and I don’t even know. I’m close to a significant body goal, and I wish I had the money to get myself the thing I said I would get myself when I made it to that goal, but that seems highly unlikely at the moment. But… that’s alright. Other things are a lot more important, and it’s not a big deal really. I do feel quite a bit better better body-wise than I have in a while, but still not good enough. Not nearly good enough. I’ve got a long way to go on that front. I really like my stupid stick ‘n poke and kinda wish it was actually permanent, but it’s good that it’s not probably. {don’t try this at home kids}

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Not too bad for a hand-drawn, hand-poked thing that I did out of sadness and other weird bad feelings while I was also pretty drunk. -shrugs a lot, forever- It’s really small, like dime sized… and I’m way happier with it than I would have been if I had woken up with a bunch of scratches there instead. so like… yeah. -shrugs some more- -shrugs off into the sunset on horseback-  Maybe I’ll just give up for tonight, and do this stupid listicle thing tomorrow? Or maybe I should just suck it up and finish it. I dunno. I’m not that great at knowing stuff. I may have kinda sorta started fleshing out a character for a stupid generic hetero romance novel, based entirely on something that I want to happen during a sex scene. Sooooo that’s a thing. yeah. Okay, I think I’m gunna go, and maybe try to finish this stupid bullshit. Or maybe I won’t. Or maybe … whatever. Maybe I should just give up freelance writing all together, and take a job in construction or some other type of manual labor. Maybe that would make me happy. Here’s a full time job with a moving company that pays $10 an hour. I could move shit. Wouldn’t have to worry about going to the gym. Oh mannnnn…. I really shouldn’t look on craigslist. Someone in *my city* is selling their whole collection of ball pythons, like 8 snakes including some really cool morphs, plus a whole really nice rack setup with thermostat controlled belly heat. $1400. I wannnnt iiiitttt. If I had that kind of money to spare, I would take that in a second. But alas, alas, I do not. Like… who does, right? I’ve never had basically any “money to spare” … ever. lol. There’s a whisper of actual upcoming work on the horizon, and I really hope that comes through. yeah. Okay, I’m actually going to go now.

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