workness grossness

Let’s try this again. More writing. 8 more to go before I can go to sleep. I have plans relatively early tomorrow so it would be cool if I didn’t have to stay up until like 6am finishing this work. I **will** fucking finish it tho. It’s time. I’ve gotta.

**********************the next day******************

  • Finished everything. Went to bed at a halfway decent time, still couldn’t sleep for shit. Got maayyybe 4 hrs sleep.
  • Went to a cat cafe. Pet a lot of cats. Looked at some houses that I can’t really have. Ate at pita pit. Took a nap.
  • Now I’m back with 10 more in my queue. Down to 150 in the pool like I predicted. Gunna go fast. I gotta finish all these and grab more. Tunnel light in sight. We’ll see.
  • Also, my neck is killing me …. possibly from sleeping weird, possibly from being hunched over this laptop for a ThOuSaNd HoUrS.
  • I’m tired and I’ve written 4 guides and I’m hungry and everything feels gross and bad
  • 5 done. I feel like crying, what the hell is wrong with me? It’s all too much and I’m so tired, tired, tired of this. I’m sorry brain, just a little longer, just a few more.
  • 6 done, everything hurts and I feel terrible and this is terrible.
  • TiMe FoR eNeRgY GuM
  • 7 done. Nobody knows it but me, when I slip, when I slip I’m still an animal
  • I can tell how little I slept because of how irritable I am and how much these pandora commercials are making me want to go into a fit of unbridled rage.
  • 8 done. Fuck this and fuck that and fuck country clubs most of all. I am an invincible, unstoppable caffeine chewing, bullshit spewing MACHINE. Coming in for a landing motherfuckers.
  • 9 done. Trying not to think too much. Hahahahah. I feel traumatized. Trying not to think too much.
  • fuckstopfuckingthinkingnkingyou’rebreakingyourownheartjustfuckingstopwhatisyourfuckingproblemjuststopthinkingjuststopjuststoppleasejuststopfuckshutupshutupstopthinkingstopstopshhhhhstopfuckstop
  • This is the worst, seriously. I’m too tired and I’m soooo drained from doing this for basically every waking moment for days and weeks????? I’m DREAMING about ballroom sizes it’s so terrible I feel so mentally mangled and not like myself and just fucked. fucked. fucked. Just so tired and weak and it’s still not even enough. It’s not even enough it’s not enough *internal screaming*
  • 10 done, sweet!

 

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