Wine & Roses

Hey, so it’s 1:30 in the morning, and I’m deeply exhausted in a soul style manner, but I need to buckle the fuck down and keep working, keep writing. I have no idea what is going to happen with anything, but I do know that I really really really need to do as much work as I possibly can as fast as I possibly can. That’s what I know. That’s the true style truth about my life right now. I’m soooo tired, but I really have to keep going. I’ve got a whole pot of coffee and my battery on this thing lasts a really long time, so basically what I’m saying is it’s time to get back to work.

  • 2:30am: time to drink coffee. Earlier when I tried to submit a guide that I wrote the little copyscape thing popped up and was all “hey, this chunk of text exists in other places on the internet, did you plagiarize it? And I looked at the other places it was referring to and it was literally four other guides that I had written that the wedding website I’m writing all of these for had published. lol. I plagiarized it from past me apparently. Time to change up my phrasing a bit I suppose.
  • 2:32am: coffee is finished and work time is now.
  • 2:41am: skeleton rocking chair
  • 12:21pm: finished 10 guides, went to bed at 7:30am. Got less than 4 hours sleep. Now I’m here again. working again. The venue i’m doing rn is a hotel in the CA wine valley called “wine & roses”. probably gunna name this entry that and be super misleading.
  • 2:29pm: I’m going so fucking slow, because of how exhausted I am. My brain is really not working well at all at all and I feel extremely fucking irritated by everything. Like… literally everything is pissing me right the fuck off at the moment. I don’t know how to deal with anything
  • 3:47pm: The S.O has delivered me a green tea frappuccino and my irritation level has decreased by approximaely 17%.
  • 5:52pm: God, I wish I could take a fucking nap or something. Honestly, I might need to because I really don’t know how much longer my brain is going to continue functioning here. It’s feeling so slow and pathetic. Like… for realsies.
  • 2:41am (the next day): Rockstar is the best energy drink, FIGHT ME. (Actually that’s a lie, I like Red Bull better but it’s so expensive I never get it) I have 6 more things to write before I can go to sleep… so that’s like… 3 hours of work at least. Fun times.
  • 4:15am: four more to go. Getting distracted, need to zone back in and finish it off. My poor brain. Oh, my poor brain.
  • 4:41am: three to go. The pool is dwindling and I’m getting paranoid about everything and also getting generally freaked out about my life, so that’s fun.
  • 5:15am: Two to go. Going and going and go.
  • 5:58am: Last one, almost done. I really hope that the client doesn’t get pissed at me for hoarding 10 more in my queue overnight, and/or make me take them out, because that would really suck. But, I am so exhausted, and no matter what I can really only do one more tonight… so I’m going to try my best to not worry about it too much. I just took a benadryl because I’ve had so much caffeine today and I really want to be able to **actually** sleep at least for a few hours, before I have to wake up and keep doing this more. **insert general sounds of agony here**
  • 6:45am: done, 10 more in my queue that I really hope I actually get to keep and write. I need to get some sleep now, and hopefully pass out as soon as possible to make the most of my limited zzzzz time. I’ll pick this ridiculous entry up when I wake up probably.
  • 9:08pm: 4 more to write and this batch is done. I forgot about this entry basically all day. I’ve already done 6 today and I’m so close to done but also so exhausted and just feeling really out of it. I should start cooking dinner some time in the relatively near future, but mostly I should just keep writing until this is finally fucking done and I can breathe for like two seconds and not look at this fucking screen for two seconds.
  • 9:44pm: Fucking hyped up on caffeine but still having such a hard time concentrating. 3 more to go. that’s one tenth of the total number I’ve had in 3 days. Just 3 more. Just 3 more and I can chill the fuck out, and drink an alcohol, and not write anything else tonight. Three more. Three more. Three more.
  • 10:28pm: Two to go. Sort of started cooking dinner. I’m so wired and tired and fucked up feeling. I haven’t exercised in like 3 days it’s way too fucking long I feel gross and bad. Tomorrow, for sure, that’s happening. I’m going to make spaghetti squash with spicy af red sauce for dinner by the way. It’s gunna be delicious and I’m so annoyed with everything right now I just want to punch things in the face forever until it’s all pulp.
  • 10:57pm: last fucking one. I’m so ready to be done with this, you don’t even know. (or… if you managed to actually read all this garbage, you probably do know I guess.) I am soooo over it. Soooo ready to take a fucking shower and be CLEAN and DONE and take a break. Possibly even allow myself to sleep for 8 full hours tonight??? how flippin’ sweet would that be? Okay. Let’s FINISH THIS.
  • 11:33pm: done. done. fucking done.

 

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