probable cause

It’s been a lot since I’ve been here and written. It’s been a lot and I will only summarize. The holidays happened and went and came and went and yeah. Good things and bad things transpired and I’m alive.

I finished my 3 month jury duty “term of service” and it is strange to be done. It is strange to not be readying myself right now to be there on the panel tomorrow. The ending was so anti-climactic to be honest. Weirdly so. It was 3 months of my life, two days a week for three months. I’ve had jobs that lasted less time than that. I can feel that the experience has changed me but I’m not fully aware of the extent yet. I think.

I’ve felt really weird and stuck lately. I think all that ending might have something to do with it but I’m not sure. I feel… sad. lost. I forced myself to go and ride my bike and put on my skates for the first serious time. And it was hard. Hard and a bit frightening… but not bad. I improved significantly within just a few minutes, but I still definitely suck a lot. I fell once and lost a little bit of skin on my hand and a little bit of my skating anxiety. I’m really tired now, I should let myself try and sleep. Actually, I should probably stay up and do more work… but like… I don’t want to do that.  I’ll be back later. Okay. Peace.

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One thought on “probable cause

  1. lucifare says:

    I hope you are well. Life is bittersweet, but you are always so strong. I’ve always admired how you persevere, doing everything that you can to keep things afloat. I find that I give up all too easy.

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