that which yields

we have dreamed this day, we dream still, and tomorrow will wake from it 

I’m pulling myself back to reality after the last couple days. Valentines day and our -sort of sort of not- anniversary the next day. It has been like a breath of air, a vacation from myself and my thoughts. Everything narrows and simplifies for those hours, and afterward everything is softer. All of the problems from before still exist, but they are somehow beveled. As I go through the day smiling softly to myself to think on it. It was intense, after so long. I was experiencing such strong, visceral reactions. Fire and ice racing through me and clean excitement. A dance at once familiar and new, as we find our footing and each other. A thin thread of nervous fear winding through it all, somehow making it sweeter. I am sore today, and tired, and really it’s a good thing that I don’t bruise easily because it would be hard to explain, if the myriad of tender spots I feel had colored. I didn’t do anything today really, just… recovered. It’s been nice. I’m not going to go into any other details. Anyway, tomorrow is another day with another set of things to deal with, and I have to actually start dealing with them… for reals. big time. Okay, for now I’m going to go, and read, and breathe, and give myself this reprieve.

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