Insoluble 

Fuck I’m tired. In like… A soul way. Last night was emotionally heavy for me. Today was the second day of training for the weird little side job I just got. I keep going back and forth about it. I’m the only one who doesn’t have a shirt yet. Got trained by Santa Claus. He stole my clipboard away from me. I think I know the route now mostly. Met a bunch of the other people who work there. Only one lady guide so far. It was kinda nice to be around weird different people, but I always second and third and fourth guess every word that comes out of my mouth. I dunno. It’s a weird group and I’m not sure if I can see myself being part of it or not. Everything feels too heavy for me to hold. A black smoke pall just… Hovering. Writing more terrible things for money and thinking too much and hearing probably gunshots. I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m heading or what’s going to happen. I just keep walking. One day and hour and step at a time. I have stuff to deal with on Monday but I think… I think… I think tomorrow is mostly mine, apart from the six articles I have to write. Not sure what I want to do with it. 

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