mingus

Highest amount of tips I’ve ever gotten, by a wide margin. Close to the highest I’ve ever seen anyone get. I just threw myself into the stories, telling and telling and trying really fucking hard not to think as I was walking between stops. I did great, and it was so fucking awful. It felt so fucking awful. I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I don’t know if I can make it. I was originally #3 tomorrow, probably off thank fucking christ, but now I’m at #2, with 11 people already signed up, and I’ll almost certainly have to fucking go. And then I’m signed up as #1 or #2 for every fucking day this week except Thursday, when I’m #4. Friday and Saturday, FRIDAY AND SATURDAY I’m #2 for the 8:00 **and** the 10:00. Hahahaha I’m literally fucking crying right now, I have no fucking idea how I’m going to physically handle that… let alone how I’m going to even remotely emotionally handle that shit yo. Being so fucking ON, acting and smiling and talking and talking for THREE PLUS FUCKING HOURS both of those nights?? Honestly, right now, that sounds like pure and total hell. I feel physically sick thinking about having to do that with this heavy shit on my heart. I’m seriously regretting ever getting this job right now. It’s supposed to be fun, a random something extra to do on the side. But right now I just want to hide in a blanket for a couple days, or hide at my parents house, or just be at fucking home yo. I seriously don’t know how the fuck I’m going to handle even one more night working feeling how I did tonight. And I’m probably going to have to do them all. Oh my god. what am I going to do? And I have homework. Lots of it. Due tomorrow, due Tuesday, Due Thursday and Sunday. I feel completely fucking gutted. Honestly, I have no idea what the fuck I’m going to do. What the fuck am I going to do? What the fuck am I going to do? What the fuck am I going to do? what the fuck am I going to do? what the fuck am I going to do? what the fuck am I going to do? what the fuck

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