My only-est plate

I’ve got a lot of stuff on my only-est plate. I’m so fucking exhausted and I really just want to be asleep now, but like I said… stuff. plate. My last entry was suuuuper dark, and I’m kinda sorry about that, but it was for sure how I felt at the time. I’m not 100% sure how this one is going to come across, but oh well lmao. Let’s just get into it.

  • Activities happened last night. The “away mission” and the first part of the night went really well and were very fun, but then it sorta fell apart in a big way. Shit got weird and emotional AF and I ended up talking about shit I wasn’t really planning on talking about. I still feel kinda bad, like I fucked it up and didn’t read the situation right. It felt so big, like so much was riding on it… but… yeah. I dunno. If the S.O is okay, and okay with it than ultimately I am as well, and we can move forward.
  • I managed to bruise the absolute shit out of my palm during said activities. I really don’t bruise easily **at all** so this is like… serious business. It goes all the way up to my fingers. It’s really fucking annoying ’cause it’s my right hand and I use it for literally everything.  It doesn’t show up super well in pics, but here’s proof for posterity.IMG_20171013_005652
  • I have a mid-term that I have to take tomorrow, and I should be studying for it right now instead of writing this shit. I’m kinda nervous about it, I’m not going to lie. It’s a two hour test with essay questions and shit. (open internet tho lol)
  • Tomorrow is Friday the 13th, in October, and I’m a ghost tour guide. It’s going to be absolutely fucking packed, there are already 56 people signed up for the 8pm tour and 45 people signed up for the 10pm tour. I’m guide #2 for both, and I will probably have to do both, and that’s really going to fucking suck. Same deal for Saturday, but fewer people so far.
  • My little brother is the best, and he brought me some absolutely foul tasting “singers saving grace” throat spray to help my voice not get fucked up when I have to talk for 3 hours straight.
  • I have a bunch of other homework due on Sunday, including a weird thing for my film class where I have to watch a (probably super boring) movie and do all kinds of screen shots and write about them and shit. And I’ll *probably* have a tour Sunday as well, unless I get magically super lucky.
  • Oh shit, I’m supposed to memorize a fucking list of Friday the 13th facts before my tour tomorrow. lmfao. awesome.
  • I really need to get my shit together as far as eating better and exercising more is concerned. I want to continue to make progress, and I certainly don’t want to lose the progress I have made. I need to get my shit together in that arena. I’ve been so busy, but I need to make time for it and I need to be mindful, vigilant. It’s really that simple.
  • Today was pretty nice tho. I didn’t do shit, even though I definitely should have. Like a full day of doing nothing, of softness and aftercare. And my love falling asleep on my chest while I held them. Just fully asleep, head on my chest, wrapped in my arms. Safe. Mine. That was honestly the most calm and peaceful and just… content I’ve felt in like… a long time. Too long.
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