I feel like I wasn’t as good a person to be around today as I could have been. I’m feeling really gross about my body. Super bad and gross and just… Soooo uncomfortable in my own skin. Horrified at how much of it there is, and here I am, inside it, piloting it, and fucking it up. Or if not actively fucking it up, then certainly not doing nearly enough to maintain it, and that’s still the work of a shitty pilot. What do I need to do to flip that control switch back? I need small solid goals and self controls. I need something. I hate feeling like this. Ugh. Sorry to be this negative. I’m worn out from everything too much to keep it in. And I don’t want to feel bad tho. I want to have a cool fun weekend and do a lot of stuff, and I’m gong to try my very best to make that happen. For this second, I’m going to try and sleep. Peace.