You know that thing they say about pessimists? “You’re either right, or you’re pleasantly surprised.” Man, I really fucking wish I could be pleasantly surprised more often. I feel sore. Sore in my heart, in my soul guts, or whatever the part of me where the real me lives is called. And I just … … … I just don’t fucking know man. I really don’t. So! Since the part of me where the real me lives feels kicked the fuck around, and I don’t want to actually talk about stuff like that here, but I do want to write because writing is and always has been a useful tool for me, and just typing can be soothing, and I’m really not in the mood to do any more Night Crying(TM), I’m going to just complain about all the annoying little shit that’s happening, that’s not currently relevant to My Sore Heart (new band name called it), but that’s still … not being helpful. Ready? The complain train is about to leave the fucking station.
- I had one of my all time worst tours last night. Was off my game, dropped shit, sucked. Tonight wasn’t much better really, I don’t fuck anything up but it felt like it lasted for a thousand years and I got shit tips.
- I have to do another one tomorrow, and that thought kinda makes my entire being want to shrivel up into a raisin. (Or perhaps a dried cranberry, because raisins are disgusting. Or perhaps a raisin, because raisins are disgusting.)
- I don’t know what the fuck is up with Blackboard, but one of my two summer classes is just totally fucking gone. Like… it’s not on there anymore. I e-mailed the professor but she hasn’t gotten back to me, I checked to make sure I’m still enrolled in the class (I am), sooo I dunno what the fuck to do about that. I have a pretty substantial assignment due for that class on Monday and idk how the fuck I’m supposed to do that if it LiTeRaLlY sToPpEd ExIsTiNg.
- I’m on my goddamn period and it’s making everything worse. It hurts and is gross and my emotions are toast.
- I’m also supposed to write at least 4 freelance articles by Monday morning. There are currently 6 in the queue and they are all fucking horrible bullshit topics. How the fuck am I supposed to write 450 words about buying a replacement battery cover for a goddamn camera? It’s a tiny fucking piece of plastic. Does your camera have one? Cool, then you don’t need one. Is the one on your camera missing? Okay, buy one if you want. You could also just put a piece of tape there tho. You wanna make that into 450 words? including six keywords each of which needs to be used between three and five times? Because I sure as fuck don’t want to.
- I can’t forget to deal with this bullshit unjust parking ticket giant fucking dumbass fucking bullshit, because if I do it will be bad. That’s something else that is for Monday, cuz everything is closed tomorrow. UuUuuuuuuugggghhhhhhhhh.
- I’m fucking TIRED, like so goddamn deeply tired in so many different ways, but like… I can absolutely tell that my brain is not going to shut the fuck up long enough to let me actually go to sleep. So! I might as well stay up for a bit longer and try to write some stupid fucking bullshit! peace.