My hands smell like leather

I should be asleep i should be asleep i should be asleep

A fucking rough day. I can’t believe i forgot to pay that shit. I was so sure i had already done it. Such a stupid fucking bullshit mistake that could end up costing me $65, and has already cost me a lot of energy.

I should be asleep

I like couldn’t stop crying, for hours. Everything was just hitting me, all at once, triggered by this but just… Everything. All the things i carry, all the shit i feel and fear. All the things that aren’t the way i want them to be.

So I did all the chores that needed to get done, and I drove to my brother’s house, where he lives now, so we could take a walk together. It was a pretty nice walk. I wrote part of a song on the drive home. I got to see the study guide for my comprehensive exam. It’s a little intimidating but i think doable. Also it actually starts at 7am and not 8 … Cuz of the time difference.

I have a bunch of stuff i need to take care of tomorrow, including dealing with aforementioned bullshit, trying to fix up my car, gathering supplies, and packing. I could definitely use a little break.

I should be asleep. (Peace)


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