Mice Hice

We’ve been having mice in the apartment for like the past month. Just caught the 5th one total, and 2nd one today, using a catch and release trap. The one from earlier was the smallest, cutest little shit I’ve ever seen. This one is grown and not nearly so charming, but clever as anything. I feel like an asshole, letting them go in the middle of the night in the freezing cold, so I wait, until the warmest hours of the day, wanting to give them the best possible chance of finding somewhere suitable to stay before cold night again. The tiny one from earlier was content to sit in the trap, eating crumbs and napping until I took him out and freed him. But this big guy was all panic panic slam his head into the trap door. So I moved him to a little bin, that I set up with food and water and hiding paper. I secured it closed and have since been watching his clever but futile escape attempts. It’s 3am, and if I’m going to wait until warmest day he’s going to have to live here for 12 hours. (I can think of worse fates, he could be going to the snakes) 

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talk through

I dunno why it makes me feel better to write through stuff on here, but for some reason it does. My instructor got back with me with notes about the intro/conclusion and outline for my huge ass paper, and she was super encouraging and helpful, and gave me full credit on both even though they were technically like… almost 2 weeks late. So that makes me feel slightly less freaked out about that paper in general,  (but still a little bit freaked out). Also along with these two huge ass papers I have finals for 3 classes in the next few days. lmao. And like… I just feel like I’m getting pulled in a lot of different directions. I have a tour on Saturday night for sure, and prrrobably on Sunday as well. I’m worried about my S.O and want to spend a lot of time focusing on them. {{and doing a variety of things for and to them in general}} I want to get a bunch of stuff and try new stuff. ((I really liked the thing you wrote for me)) I want to get a tiny Christmas tree and decorate it. I *need* to fucking exercise. I just really haven’t been, and it’s really not cool. I need to be doing something active basically every day. I think I’m experiencing… like… a low grade depression. Like I just don’t feel motivated to move, to do stuff. I know that I really fucking need to, but I feel stuck and it fucking sucks. Once again, I’m hoping I’ll be able to shake myself out of it once I get through this patch of school. I’ve also just been letting myself eat stuff, like whatever, and drink a lot and I know that’s A. not fucking cool and B. ultimately makes me feel more depressed. I need to shake myself out of this pattern, it’s gross and I hate it, and it makes me feel gross and hate myself lmao. Anyway, yeah. cool. whatever. I also really wanna do stuff for my animals. The ferret needs more attention / exercise. I want to up-size both of my snake tanks (and I have everything I need to do one, but it’s guna take time) and I want to hook up the beta I impulse bought with a bigger setup as well, even though what he’s got now is technically fine. I have to get alll my fucking paperwork together and sign up for health insurance by the 15th or I’m going to be fucked. lmao. That’s going to be a huge pain and take forever, and I’ll have to go down to the office at least once… but I seriously can’t let that shit slip through the cracks. It’s super important. What else? I dunno. Time is passing really quickly right now, and I should maybe?? try to sleep??? at some point??? But really I should probably do some more work on this paper first, since I literally only have 3 more days to work on it and I probably have tours on 2 of those days. Soooo yeah. okay. peace.

Zoo days

Went to the zoo with my family today, saw some animals, definitely did *not* gently touch a small monkey through the bars, because that would be dangerous and against the rules and you know how much I love following rules. Here are some things we saw:

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Stripe horses

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A rather large kitten

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Some ice dogs

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A small orange man (that I definitely did not touch at all)

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This long billed turkey

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The king of all guinea pigs

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Pink swans

A lot of animals weren’t out, but it was still pretty nice and fairly chill overall.

3am things

Haha man, what even am I? I have no idea. Clinically depressed almost certainly… But not in the mood to get put on pills about it. Weak and wanton. I had a bunch of dreams about being in grad school and weird things were happening and there was a giant bear???  Or something?? And it was kinky sort of somehow. Not the bear… The bear wasn’t kinky. The general undertone of the dream was, but I can’t remember exactly how… Only that I woke with that unmistakable feeling. Anyway, I don’t even know if grad school is really what I want out of life at all… But it’s something, you know? I’m not thrilled af about it, but I think it could be good for me, and I do really hope I get accepted. I got an official “your application was received and is under review” letter in the mail today. So that’s cool. I scored a pair of tickets to see one of my all time life heroes in March. I’m very psyched about that. It sold out in like 30 minutes, it’s amazing I got tickets. I’m going with my little brother, he was super psyched as well. I don’t feel like saying any more about it right now. Why can’t I fucking muster up the will power to do the rowing machine every day? Like it lives right there in my fucking house, there’s no excuse. You know what I’m really passionate about? Snakes. Fucking snakes. Ball pythons in particular but all snakes in general. My fantasy future is to run a top of the line breeding facility with the highest possible quality of care for the animals. And to have part of my facility be a non-profit reptile rescue where I take in reptiles in need and get them the medical care they need and find them good homes. Oh, and in this fantasy I also do community outreach programs that help people learn about reptiles and I do little seminars about proper care and housing. Also, all of the snakes’ shed skin would be used to make cool jewelry and trinkets and stuff that I would sell to support the rescue. As you can tell I’ve thought about it a lot. Lmao. But it’s hyper unrealistic for a ton of different reasons. But I like thinking about it, and I love snakes. I don’t know why, I just do. I love them. I’m gonna go watch some egg cutting videos on YouTube and then go to sleep.

Give me a home

After two nights at my parents house struggling to get comfortable enough to sleep I’m happy to be here in my own bed.It’s nice to be there tho. It still feels like home to me in a lot of ways, but not in an *its comfortable to sleep here* way. It’s nice to have a yard and dogs and outdoor privacy and light and space. It rained and rained and I took the dogs for a long walk by myself in the bosque. We walked by the alpaca house.

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They are fascinated by the dogs and always come over to see us. They move as a heard and that panda face lookin’ guy is their leader. The dogs are a bit afraid of them I think.

There’s a snake in my boobs

So things have been more or less okay, I think. *knocks on wood* *literally does it* My wish bracelet finally fell off. Jeeze, I was wearing that thing forever. My snake is still really awesome. I held her for a really long time last night, and then she chilled in my bra for like a half hour. She got comfortable and just curled up there, enjoying my body warmth and whatnot. She might have been asleep it’s hard to tell with no eyelids. It was extremely cute, in a ~snake boob~ sort of way. *posts a picture whether you guys want to see my snake and boobs or not*

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She would have stayed there longer, but I needed to feed her, so I pulled her out. 10/10 snake, highly recommend. It’s ridiculous how attached I am to this cold blooded reptile. Jeeze. I’m once again without any work. I really need to either find more clients, or just find some other way of making money that’s more stable, because I’m getting pretty tired of this feast and famine, monetary uncertainty bullshit. I got a $20 bonus for my last round of work for “finishing work on time”. Like really? I thought finishing on time was like… the bare minimum for freelance work, but thanks, and I accept your $20.

I got an *actual* blister on my finger from my bass guitar the other day. That’s what I fucking get for not playing for so long. Still, it was really gross and ouchie and mostly gross, but it’s gone now, and I should play more. I’m really hungry, but dinner isn’t going to be done for like two or three more hours, so I’m just going to have to deal with it ay? Just chill and tremble slightly because I drank too much coffee with too much nothing else in my stomach. Cool.