It makes me feel physically sick. Fucking stressing myself to death, being hyper fucking vigilant every second listening for those sounds. Never being fully comfortable or relaxed in my own apartment. I don’t know what the fuck to do. I don’t fucking know. I have no money, no fucking money at all, and no current work and I don’t know when it’s going to come and everything feels fucking hopeless and dead and I feel sick to my stomach and mentally sick and so fucking tired and the whole situation just sucks wicked bad. I feel paralyzed. like how can we continue to live here like this? It’s not healthy. It’s not right. I’m so tired and I’m not really a robot, I feel everything.