piercing sound

Hey, so on Friday I got the mysterious thing I said I wanted to get for myself. It was a nose piercing. I’ve wanted one since I was like 18, but I’ve always been a little bitch about it and talked myself out of doing it for one reason or another. So, I set it as ┬ámy prize for a specific goal a couple months ago, and told myself that if I still wanted it when I achieved that goal, I would do it. And I did, so I did. The place where I had it done was really nice and chill and professional and fast. So far the piercing itself is doing really well. It’s still a little bit swollen and tender but it doesn’t hurt when I flare my nostrils anymore. Also, I adore it. I think it’s really cute and my nose is like my least favorite facial feature, but this makes me like it at least 20% more. “did it hurt?” yeah, it felt pretty much exactly how you’d imagine ┬áhaving a needle shoved clean through your nostril would feel. But it was so fast, it hardly mattered. The pain was never the part I was worried about. That’s never what stopped me from getting it. There’s a bit of a (for lack of a better word) meditative quality to having a new piercing. You have to be constantly aware of it, and you have to be patient, and gentle, and diligent about taking care of it. You have to pay specific attention to a little piece of yourself you normally don’t pay any attention to. Anyway, overall I think it’s easier to care for than my ear cartilage piercings were. In other news, I bought two new pairs of jeans today. (and by new, I mean actually not new at all because I got them from a thrift store) I fucking hate clothes shopping *so bad* but like… I really had no freaking jeans. So, this store was having a half off sale so I was like… fuck it, let’s just get it over with. Last time I tried on jeans I was like between two sizes and nothing fit and it was fucking terrible and depressing. Today I tried on 6 pairs in the smaller size and *all of them* either fit me, or were slightly too big. It was beautiful, it was magical. It was not traumatizing at all. I got to pick the ones I wanted based on how they **actually looked** … not based on “oh good, one single pair that mostly fits me sort of okay. I will buy them.” Like… I had literal options. It was rad. The S.O ended up getting four shirts, and the total came out to like $17 for four shirts and two pairs of jeans, which is crazy cheap. I could use some new shirts too… but I wasn’t about to try and deal with that today. I’m hoping another batch of writing stuff will come in soon. I got an email today saying that it’s supposed to, but it hasn’t happened yet. Sooooo we’ll see I guess. I am the tired, sort of. I actually feel hella gripped with anxiety, in a formless, nebulous sort of way that sucks. yeah, okay, okay, yeah. I think I’m going to go now, and do some different types of things and stuff. Peace.

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Wide awake why awake

Dude. Duuuude, why can’t I sleep? I even took a benadryl, I should be sawing mad logs, dreaming hella dreams. But alas, a lass, all ass. Wakeful eyes all open in the dark. Man, dude, I want a snake. I mean, I’ve wanted one since I was like 10,  but now I’m suddenly kinda all about it. I know I’m too poor right now to make it happen, but I like to think about it and do research and stuff. Originally I was pretty set on a corn snake, but after doing more research I decided a ball python would be better for me. They have higher humidity requirements, but they’re a lot more chill and docile, which is really what I’m looking for. Also they are cute af. maybe for my birthday in like 2.5 months. Idk. Just wishful thinking, but It’s not outside the realm of possibilities. Anyway, got my sleeping rags on, cuz I like to sleep dressed like a 12th century peasant. Not really, but all my non rag sleeping shirts are dirty. Also most my underwear. I need to do laundry.

Hocus Focus

man, I’m totally losing it over here. I can’t even think or focus at all and gaaaaaaah, he keeps touching me and giving me certain looks and it sends me dowwwn so fast, to a place I really want to go and just … stay. there. But I caaaaan’t because I have work to do, and responsibilities, and stuff and it’s wicked hard to be productive when you can’t stop thinking about getting tied up and … -clears throat- Tomorrow I’m going to have quite a lot of work actually… but I suppose that’s alright. Maybe it will keep me sort of distracted? Seriously what’s my deal? Why am I so keyed up this week? KeYeD UuUuUuUuUuUp SON! >>>___<<< I need to clear my damn head and write ONE LAST ARTICLE for tonight so I can possibly go to sleep at a semi-decent time and not wake up at 2 in the afternoon. Or I could stay up forever reading and still wake up wicked late… that’s also cool. I wish I had money to get some new clothes because my wardrobe is currently prettyyyy pathetic. Also I need to actually make an effort to try and fix my shoes cuz I’m basically shoe-less. -endless shrug- I mean it’s hard to care about it TOO much when I want to be home wearing next to nothing most of the time. Alright guyyys… I’m gunna peace out now and try to get something done.