I like to think I’ll live my life differently when this is over, when we can go in public again and be around other people. I’ll actually join the clubs and sports and martial arts classes that I always wanted to try but always told myself I’d do later, someday, when I had more time,w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶i̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶n̶e̶r̶. I’ll travel even if it’s just a short and pointless trip, just for the sake of doing it, of being somewhere. I like to think that I’ll really do it, now, if I get to see the other side of this. But who knows, honestly.
- Dirt Poor Robins – Great Vacation
This is going to sound absolutely fucking psychotic, but there’s something that feels sort of nostalgic and comforting to me about being back in total lockdown quarantine. Nostalgic for the March / April version of me, making pillow forts and making the best out of it in a way that’s easy to do when it hasn’t been 8 months. Watching worried day by day as the numbers slowly ticked up to 1,000 total cases in the state. Pretty sure we’ve had a solid week of 2,000 cases per day at this point. Nostalgic for the version of me that thought a lockdown would take care of it, that it would only be a few weeks tops, and we’d be okay again. Nostalgic for that time I spent making a scarf and teaching the dog new tricks and watching fucking tiger king. It’s hard to explain, but I guess it feels like at least we’re trying something, you know? At least we’re being proactive again. We aren’t giving up when it sort of felt like we were. And maybe I’m fucking stupid for having some hope that it will make a difference, but maybe it will.
2. Barns Courtney – Sinners
Anyway, I’m working on my last project right now. It’s going okay but I need to do more. I keep going back and forth between feeling chill about it and feeling extremely stressed about it lol. It’s so weird to look through all of these old documents, and every time I find something new it’s just … wow. Amazing. I know what her sons did with their lives. I know when they died. Oh, also I keep forgetting that as a part of this project I have to come up with a pedagogical presentation and record it. It shouldn’t be too hard but I need to devote two hours to that minimum, maybe more like 3 or 4. Sometime before Sunday night.
3. Mother Mother – Cesspool of Love
I remembered to feed the snakes at least, so that’s one thing off my checklist. I’m annoyingly stressed about the whole dog spay thing, and having flashbacks of the first time I couldn’t get an appointment because of a lockdown. Full circle innit. I’ll try to call around tomorrow and see what I can see… but yeah, it’s stressing me out. That lady I talked to on the phone today stressed me out even more about it. Jeeeeze. Okay, back to work.
4. Sub Urban – Cirque
I’m actually making an outline for myself for how I want to handle the rest of this, because it’s really complicated. It’s already half written. The literary analysis part is already written (although I’m going to add a little bit to that as well) but I have to weave the history stuff into it in a way that makes sense, and flows well, and makes the picture as complete as it possibly could be. I think it’s gonna be good. I really hope.
5. Unlike Pluto – Stir Crazy
Alright, my outline is all set up, I have a good organizational system set up for once in my life, I have everything I need to get this done and do it well. So, for now I’m going to go to bed. I need some rest. peace.