Last day of this round. I want to feel happy and excited to finish it but I just feel sorta empty and sorta scared and very exhausted. My neck is still killing me. Like… really, a lot. I still barely slept last night. It’s been a long while since 8 hours happened. whatever. Expect the worst, hope for the best. I’ll either be right or pleasantly surprised. These last 5 are gunna be extra hard to write, because they are bottom of the barrel style. Whatever. Let’s go.
(5)wrote this one backward, that made it slightly less terrible somehow. Probably going to do the next one that way too.
(4) Another backward one, done. Also My S.O just went out to run errands for me and bring me food. Also I just spontaneously started crying, so that’s cool.
(3) finished. More than halfway through. I just got accepted for a new assignment, I didn’t even have to do a trial for it the client just asked if I wanted to do it because they are familiar with my work. It’s just a small thing, but it’s a thing. It’s already loaded. I’m not even gunna look at it today.
(2) done. only one more to go. I’m feelin” helllllllla ravaged in an ot fun at all even a little bit type of way. Like… super uncool style. And I’m planning on going to the gym when I’m done with this, so that’s a thing.
(1) and done. 136 total wedding guides written for this round. That’s so fucking many, and yet it doesn’t feel like enough. Okay, okay, I’m done. It’s done. I’m done. Peace.
(5)This is for me. For me to write and live in this little block of white and nothing and whatever. Feeling worn and sick and strange and wanting and weak. Hoping coffee will help. Five wedding guides and $100 stand between me and a hopefully relaxing evening. Now is the time.
(4)Finding my stride quickly and easily. Say the same words in a hundred different ways and it’s easy. It’s nothing it’s meaningless it’s a bag of crisps that’s 94.3% air. This coffee has an aftertaste that tastes like celery to me. Shouldn’t have gotten the organic one. Whatever. oh well. Caffeinated celery bean water what the flip ever.
(3)That one I just finished was for a zoo, which are always kinda fun because it’s at least a little different. Coffee is working even though it’s celery-tastic. Haha, I’m so fucking weak, all the songs that are playing on pandora are almost making me cry. I blame hormones. It’s ridiculous.
(2)Over halfway there. Going fast and going faster. Fingers and brain you all know what to do by now. I’m going to be at 86 total by the end of this day. Good. yes. good. I should shoot for more than 5 tomorrow, I really should.
(1)Hunger is starting to eat at me. hahaha. haha ha. Nice one brain. But really body, you’ve got plenty to burn in there, have at it. Where was I? Oh, right. One more guide to write. It’s about a lighthouse or something? I don’t even know, nor do I care. Soon it will be done and I will be done.
(0) I wrote them all and I’m done and I’m exhausted. I should probably go through and queue up some more for tomorrow, but I dunno if I have it in me really. I’m feeling so drained and strange. But that’s okay. I’m done writing and I made $100 in like four hours and that’s not bad at all so I’m going to try my very best to let myself stop thinking so goddamn much about everything for a little while. Peace. Love.
I haven’t made a playlist in forever, but doing a ton of writing always makes me want to make one. This little batch of wedding writing is about done, but I’m hoping there will be another one soon. I wrote a total of 38 guides this week, roughly 19,000 words. There are a handful more in the pool, and I could stay up and do them, but I’m so tired. I’m so so tired. So! here are some songs that made me twitch around and rock back and forth and feel slightly better while I was working. Don’t question it, it is what it is.
1. Three Days Grace – Painkiller (yeah yeah, I know I know. I really like the chorus. Suck it.)
2. Panic! at the disco – Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time (stupid but fun)
3. Caravan Palace – Brotherswing (this song sounded so familiar and I thought I might have had it on an earlier playlist, but I totally didn’t. I was recognizing it from a Darlings show.)
4. Metric – Black Sheep (this is like the most famous metric song and I’ve only heard it a few times)
5. Cake Bake Betty – One By One (I love the lyrics for this song but can’t find a lyric vid)
Welp, it’s am and I should absolutely be finishing up my night’s work so I can catch a few hours of sleep… but I had this like 80% put together and I just wanted to have it for tomorrow. (Plus that Kongos shit just came on my pandora again and I was like fuck … I gotta. ) So, hopefully by the time I’m listening to this I will be free, and hopefully it will be a nice Saturday night. This is a beautifully eclectic combination of songs, and I couldn’t be happier with it honestly.
Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros -40 day dream (rejected this one from an earlier playlist but it’s making a comeback today)
Wax Taylor – Say yes Instrumental mix (What’s a playlist without some electro swing?)
Kongos – I’m only joking (This song grabs a HOLD of me. weird and almost scary. “there’s a song, you’re trembling to it’s tune, at the request of the moon”)
The Bravery – Fistful of Sand (moon version) (this is one of those lyrically sad songs that make me feel uplifted for some reason??)
Twenty one pilots – Tear in my Heart (“But my taste in music is your face!”)
Skeewiff – Don’t Rock the Boat (electro swing again, just delicious beats and sounds and harmonies and mmm nice)
Atreyu – Bleeding Mascara (Because I flailed around in a mosh pit and screamed my face off to this song yo! always one of my Atreyu faves. Couldn’t resist.)
Sometimes it’s the weekend, in the waning week of September and the fall air slowly starts to fall over your city. Sometimes you look at Friday night against a backdrop of city lights and feel your chest grow tight tight tight.
We got another snake. He’s a lavender motley corn snake and he’s incredibly cute and incredibly small. He ate a meal on Friday, which is awesome.
I fucking love snakes like I feel so passionate about snakes. I haven’t felt this passionate about something in a long time and it’s kinda nice, even though it’s kind of a weird thing.
I’m doing a lot of freelance work this week… which is really nice money wise, but sucks pretty much every other way. And yet I keep hoping for more. I need the money. Keep it coming. Keep me busy and bored and antsy and anxious. Hell yeah, give me that work.
I’m watching my parents dogs tonight which is kinda annoying because it makes getting my work done harder, but whatever. I said I would do it.
Other stuff is happening too but I don’t feel like talking about it so I’m not going to.
Here’s a picture of tiny snake. It doesn’t really do justice to his amazing pink/purple (lavender) colors… but it’s still mad cute.