30

You know how sometimes

The love of your life is snoring

Fully asleep beside you

And you can’t stop thinking about

Pushing a 1.6mm needle

Through the most intimate part

Of their body?

You know how sometimes

One time

You live out your first full day

As a thirty year old person?

You know how sometimes

You don’t want night to come

You don’t want morning to come

Because it will break the bubble

The tender bubble of time

Where you two are all and only

Where questions and trials are held

At bay?

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Day

Tired mind and wakeful eyes, I’d prefer they still themselves and give me some unconscious hours. Close and peer into the morning next. Still, I did it all. The lines and the strokes and the cold night stroll. Still, I did it all.

Daylight cravings

Hahaha I want to stay awake forever and punch everyone in the face. I hurt my knee by tripping over a fucking rock in the dark and I’m the fucking worst. Hahaha haha ha ha just the worst. So awake and fragile like a baby deer. Like a little baby baby baby deer. A fawn squinting against the dawn because it’s fucking daylight savings, stealing an hour and suddenly it’s 6 am. Six a.m. and I’m still open like a wound. After so long, i’d forgotten how good it could feel. How fucking calm and real and me I could feel. But I’d also forgotten how vulnerable it
leaves me, for how long. Sing a little song, scream until it’s gone. Relax, lie down, embrace the night. Oh fuck, oh wait, that’s morning light.