sleep(less)

He’s passed OUUUT upstairs. I can literally hear him snoring. I gave ’em the rest of the sleepstyle meds we had in the house so he could zzzzz…. but I’m very much awake. Chilling on the internet, touching my clean shaven self and looking at lots of tumblr porn. Because why the fuck not, right? I’m frustrated in the sexual type way and keep asking myself if there’s something I’m not doing. (there probably is….) but i mostly feel like he’s in a non-sex having type place right now which is something I respect and can deal with. but it’s still sorta frustrating when I feel like I only have a few days before gross lady time and I’m super ready to go. (Also I’m so soft right now it’s *magical*) Okay, enough about sex stuff. Moving on. I should get my phone by Wednesday, which I’m really glad about. Not having my own phone is really annoying. I know I’m spoiled. Lucky to get to care about such trivial things. Privileged. I want to pet a dog and hug it and take it for a walk. I want to walk outside barely wearing anything and feel the beautiful fall chill against my skin. I want to play musical instruments as if I’d practiced since I was a single digit age. I want to get fucked. I want to drink a pumpkin beer. I want to want to sleep.

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