The thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to

Hey. I’m not sure. I know my hormones are fucking going or whatever but either way overall I’m rough. Losing my shit over an undeserved parking ticket. Choking on so much nihilistic bile and unable to spit it out. Unable to make it feel like the optimistic kind, and really, truly not knowing how to deal with that. 2 months from today is something I’m deeply not ready for, and between now and that, somehow, an entire condensed semester. Fuck I hate thinking about time. Please, I need to stop. All I can do right now is try to sleep. I finished my book, and 250 tiny little squares of plastic. I can’t find any of my usual grips, the hand and foot holds I find even in the dark. And in short, I am afraid.