I started my doctoral program. I feel like I should be more excited but i can’t feel it. Some of it is going to be pretty hard, but i should be able to handle it, and then like… I’ll have a doctorate. Maybe I’ll feel better about the whole thing when my financial aid disburses and i can afford to be a person and pay my several late credit card bills. Right now i just feel stressed, and pretty sad, and I’m just trying to be a strong pillar of support. A rock and a walking stick and a soft lap to lay in. A good partner, a good daughter, a good caretaker for a street dog whose future i have to decide. And i guess a good student as well. I’m an adult with a mortgage and when i break an egg yolk i don’t cRy about it.