Writing Playlist 3: {Wicked Eclectic Springtime Desperation Mix}

Another installment in my mildly popular playlist series. Here are this week’s top picks for songs that I particularly liked hearing while I was working. Pretty varied mix, got some weird dark ragtime tunes, some alt rock, some pop, a little light dubz. I named this playlist the wicked eclectic springtime desperation mix because… I dunno, that’s what it feels like it should be called. Hope you guys have a nice weekend, I’m personally pretty psyched that it’s Friday. Enjoy.

Emma Wallace -Part of your Mudra

Good Lovelies – Crabbuckit

Jill Tracy – Evil Night Together

Katzenjammer – Demon Kitty Rag

Sea Wolf – You’re a Wolf

OneRepublic – Counting Stars (Longarms dubstep remix)

Imagine Dragons – Radioactive

Iron and Wine – Boy with a Coin

The Shins – New Slang

Miike Snow – Animal

 

So sail, stalwart souls

Everyone understands the world differently, and interprets it differently, and reacts to it differently, and I cannot expect anyone to interpret it the same way as me … ever… for any reason I know this. But sometimes I still get really annoyed at how other people interpret the world. Just the difference between how they viewed this event and how they are reacting to it and how I saw it, and how I reacted, just … irks me for some reason. AaaaaAaaaanyway, The website I NEED to use to do my work went down last night (See: early this morning) So I couldn’t get as much of my work done as I wanted to. As a result I have hella more work to do today than I want. I’ve gotten some of it done but I still have a long way to go. Also I got woken up two hours earlier than I wanted, which is not exactly improving my demeanor. When we went out earlier today to grab some supplies I saw two separate people in the store wearing obvious collars that did *not* look like a simple fashion statement. (one was a choke chain) Apparently the freaks come out at 1 in the afternoon here?? It was pretty interesting. (I like having a collar that is 100% stealth for public wear, and then an obvious one for certain ~~activities~~) My little red volvo is in the shop, getting the AC fixed and making the front drivers’ side window roll down… hopefully. I’m hoping I can get it back by tomorrow, when I am blessedly free of work… but we will see. You know how car stuff goes. I Might be doing some recording early next week. Haven’t done music stuff in so long I’m just sorta like… ugh. Not super enthused to get back into it. But hopefully that will change. I need to get back to work now. I’m way more sensitive to caffeine than I used to be. It makes me SsSsSshake , but it keeps me awake.

Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets

Should sleep. How many off these do I end with those words? Having technical issues that kept me from finishing my last article. I really hope it gets sorted before I start working again. Way too much to do tomorrow, pretty overwhelming. Hope it goes okay. Past few days have been a mix of real good and weird bad. Not getting into it. Hoping for just 2 more weeks of steady work, that would be enough for us to make it through. But more than that would be even better. Peace for now. Hopefully I will slip into the dreaming

Good News Bad News

 Good News:  I got more articles to write, which I asked for and need for money reasons. 

Bad News:  I have to fucking write 9 goddamn articles in the next 24 hours. 

Good News: I just made myself a matcha green tea smoothie and it tastes awesome and has caffeine in it

Bad News: I feel weird and lost and weak and wicked vulnerable and sorta helpless. 

Good News: I went to the gym today and got a really good workout, which helped clear my head at least slightly.

Bad News:  I probably shouldn’t have wasted two hours going to the gym and coming back and showering because I have to fucking write 9 goddamn articles in the next 24 hours. 

Good News: I at least recognize the names of (almost) all the products I have to write about and they aren’t weird technical things I don’t know anything about. 

Bad News: I’m not sure what’s up with articles for next week and it’s sorta freaking me out

Good News: After tomorrow I will have made half of July’s rent. June is already sorted. 

Bad News:  I’m not super confident about how I’m going to make the other half… but we’ll see. 

Good News: I’m almost done making this stupid entry, and you guys can be done reading it!

Bad News: I have to actually go do my work now. 

 

Awkward transactions

So my boyfriend and I were just in the dollar store because he wanted to buy some clothespins and candles … for … reasons. We were standing in line and I said “oh man, this is such an obvious purchase.” and he said “shut up! don’t even say that!” Then we went up to the cashier. She rang up the candles, she rang up the clothespins, and then she stopped and said “Do you know what else you can use these for?” … and I stood there trying not to laugh or smile too much like an idiot, feeling my soul ghost out of my mouth and hover over my head. “uuuh… no?” … “You can use them to close up chip bags!” she said, and my soul sucked back inside me and I laughed. “That’s a super good idea!” I said, as she proceeded to tell us a story about how she uses them for that. I almost died, it was ridiculous. 

Happenings and Underthings

The people who manage my apartment complex finally turned on the AC yesterday, and that feels absolutely lovely and just awesome. Like as soon as they turned it on I took a three hour nap and it was the best I’ve slept in ages because I wasn’t fucking roasting. My little brother graduated from college on Saturday. I went to his graduation and it wasn’t nearly as long and boring as mine was 3 years ago. It was in a giant stadium and my family watched him with binoculars so we could tell when they were about to call his name. Afterwards we went out to lunch. My family still thought I had work to do on Saturday and Sunday, and I didn’t dis-illusion them of this notion, because it gave me the opportunity to spend the next two days engaging in a variety of sexual exploits without being disturbed. So… that happened, and was fun, and nice, but too bad the AC hadn’t been turned on earlier because the heat sorta stopped us from having a day long sex marathon. (Although my boyfriend did come up with a clever solution to cool us off while simultaneously sort of torturing me.) Let’s seee… what else? Oh, so last night I finally *did* hang out with my brother, and that was chill and fun and we drank a lot and watched all kinds of cartoons and a mythbusters and I showed him Dr. Horrible’s sing along blog which is awesome and I highly recommend. All in all it was a good night. I only have 6 articles for this week, which isn’t enough money wise… and I’m not sure what the deal is or if they are out or if she’s just being all like…. trying to make me write them sooner in the week? I dunno. No email or explanation or anything from article boss in a long time and I’m scared to email her first because… I just am okay?  Sooo I’m planning on finishing these like… tomorrow and then emailing her and asking her if she has more. If she doesn’t then oh well I guess. @____@ …. I will figure something out probably. For right now I’m going to get to work and get some of these stupid things done.

Should sleep. Pretty tired but feeling so stressed. Only 6 articles for next week that isn’t enough money.  What am I gunna do? Hope I get more. Gotta wake up in less than 6 hours. So tired. Such a long soul crushing week. Need to sleep, please let me sleep. My little brother graduates from college tomorrow. So early in the morning but I will be there.

“ZZZzzzZZzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzz” – My brain

I’m tired as hell. I spent all day writing a wicked long wicked hard paper. I actually started it yesterday and finished it today, and it still took me like almost 5 hours today. It was 11 pages long in total. BuuuuUUuuuuuUUUt … That’s the last fucking school thing that I have. It’s done. It’s over. That feels like a relief, and I allowed myself to bask in that relief for about an hour before I immediately started writing articles. I’ve gotten 3 done and I need to do one more before I go to sleep. It’s related to fashion advice, which I always find amusing since I seriously don’t know jack about fashion. It’s for dudes and I’m just like… um… suits? Ties? you probably should wear pants? (except it’s the UK so they say trousers or slacks, and pants are underwear.) I’m going to have 7 fucking guides to write tomorrow… soooo….. yeeeeah. That’s going to be …. yeah. Let’s see.. what else? I guess I need to sort of go back to the real world now that I don’t have this school stuff as an excuse to stay hermited inside my house and spend all my free time on sexy adventures. I have to like… balance my sexy adventures with other stuff. I need to hang out with my bro since I haven’t hung out with him in like a billion years. I’ll figure it out, I think, hopefully. I’ll make time for everything, I think hopefully. 

TMI menstruation post. (Just don’t read it if you don’t want to hear about that junk.)

Soooo it appears that the birth control related whatever whatever hormones that were fucking up my system and my cycle for the past three-ish months are finally gone. …. Which I’m glad about… but on the downside it is causing me to have my period like TWO FUCKING WEEKS EARLY. … Which is significantly less awesome. Also for those three months it was very light, and I sorta forgot how NOT LIGHT it usually is and it’s like… WOOOAH and it’s super gross. Also I have hella cramps and it’s just wicked gross in general and my emotions are shooting all over the damn place ugh I have way too much work to do to be getting distracted by this bullshit. … But it’s hard to stay focused and NOT be distracted when you are in constant pain (and not in the sexy way I like) and also emotionally ravaged (and not in the sexy way I like) and also worried about not bLeEdInG all over your clothes and furniture (and not in the sexy way I like).

Buuut my boyfriend did go to the store for me and buy me flowers and chocolate and tampons and wine (to kill the PAIN… but I can’t drink it yet because I have tons of work to do) Which was really sweet, and nice, and I love him.

Right…. back to work. I have aaaaaay LOT to do.

My freelance clients will never know that I work basically naked most of the time.

Trying to concentrate on boring work stuff… but it’s haaard! I’m really distracted and I just want to play games and have sex and play sex games because those things are awesome and ohmygod. I’ve been having so much fun I feel sort of guilty for writing about it, like I’m bragging… but I really do want to write about how much fun I’ve been having. I feel like this is seriously the best my relationship has ever been. I feel … so not stressed about it and that is fucking lovely and luxurious. I just want to lay in this dude’s lap forever, or lean against his chest while he has an arm around me, or kneel on the floor at his feet and rest my head on his knee while he twines his fingers in my hair… -clears throat- erm… I mean… another normal thing that couples do! yeeeah.

But seriously you guys, it’s been fuckin’ sweet. I have lots of scratches all over my body and they are sort of itchy and mildly painful and annoying and I love it. Hell yeah, I’ll take 100 more. It has felt normal and natural and good to fall into this role. Better than it ever has, less pretension, less apprehension, more structure. He holds me accountable for things, which is amazing and makes me feel all loved and good and safe (and also turns me on more than it probably should.) -deep breaths- -deeeeep breaths- -mental cold shower-

This week is going to be really busy and crazy and hectic. Tons of stuff to do, I have a huge paper due on Wednesday and 15 articles due Friday and I have not started either of these things. Took one final today, going to take 2 more by the end of the night. We have early morning obligations on Saturday, so we won’t be able to do an epic three day long scene… but that’s okay.

Its cold outside for the first time in DAYS and I love it and I’m shivvvvering (from 50% cold and 50% … other reasons I think) I had hella weird crazy detailed sex themed dreams last night that sort of blended with reality and left me vaguely confused and sort of extra … yeeeah, anyway… I should get back to work. Also I’m going to put more clothes on because it’s suddenly cold… and I basically sit around mostly naked through the summer months.